Pets

World War II in Colour

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:16:00 -0700

The parrot goes on guard duty, and Hamish goes in search of a German spy. This episode contains strong language and may be decoded using an Enigma machine.

Guilty

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Trevor takes a seat on the bench, and JP is called to the bar. Courtroom drama comes to the Pets house. Without much success. This episode contains strong legal laguage.

Business

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:23:00 -0700

Hamish orders the parrot to kill Trevor. In the meantime, our hero seems to be having more than a little trouble with his "arsegrapes". Contains strong language and a shit impression of Marlon Brando.

Mexican

Sat, 24 May 2008 06:38:00 -0700

In order to try and sort out Hamish's strange personality disorder, Trevor decides to try a little aversion therapy. Contains strong language and an offensive racial stereotype.

Conspiracy Theory

Sat, 17 May 2008 06:37:00 -0700

Hamish learns more than he ever wanted to know about his house mates, during his ill-informed investigations into US history. Meanwhile the parrot develops an almost unnatural interest in certain flavours of ice cream, and the worms in Trevor's stomach remember the 1960s. Listen out for writers Barclay & West as the voices of the worms. Contains strong language and a highly improbable plot.

Pets Trance 2008

Sat, 17 May 2008 06:33:04 -0700

Featuring Trevor, Hamish, JP and the cat. Created in 2004 by DJ Urine at the Broadway Radio Theatre. Contains strong language.

Star Gate

Sat, 10 May 2008 07:58:00 -0700

"Consistently superb writing" THE GUARDIAN 3/5/08 Our furry heroes travel into a parallel universe through a mysterious time portal in the airing cupboard. Contains strong language and extremely disappointing special effects. Ian Angus Wilkie features as the voice of Hamish.

Pleasure

Sat, 03 May 2008 05:41:00 -0700

"Consistently superb writing" THE GUARDIAN 3/5/08 Trevor drives everyone in the house round the bend, when he gets an unbearable itch in the middle of his back and he can't reach it. Andrew Barclay is the voice of Trevor. Contains strong language. No parrots were hurt during the making of this programme. Except one.

The Miracle

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:59:00 -0700

Hamish decides to dedicate himself to God. In the meantime, Trevor tries to persuade the cat to dress up for him as a nun. Contains strong language and a blocked toilet.

Reincarnation

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 04:30:00 -0700

To Hamish's horror, he discovers that when he was dead he was "reincarnated as Trevor". In the meantime, the parrot becomes convinced that in a previous life he was an international rock star. Pets features Sally Elsden as Davina the cat, and Petros Emanuel as JP the parrot. Contains strong language.

Talent

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 04:12:00 -0700

In the guise of screen legend Marilyn Monroe, Trevor enters for that famous TV talent show. But will he win? Frankly, who gives a toss. Ian Angus Wilkie stars as Hamish, with Andrew Barclay as Trevor. This episode contains strong language and a very dodgy blond wig.

Curse of the Mummy

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:45:00 -0700

The cat has to call upon a few ancient Egyptian connections in order to tackle the Pets' problems. Contains strong language and some very smelly bandages.

Manumission Impossible

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:25:00 -0700

Hamish becomes increasingly irritated that he is never invited to Trevor's parties. But Big Brother is watching. Episode contains strong language and soft drugs.

On Hold

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 03:01:00 -0700

Just how long can Trevor hang on the line before becoming violent? And who else is hanging on? Contains strong language and a very annoying voice-activated response unit.

Death

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 05:19:00 -0800

Another shameless movie spoof from the Pets house. Contains strong language and a dead dog humping a sofa.

Hostage

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 04:51:00 -0800

"I do not want oral sex with a creature whose beak is as sharp as a razor blade". JP offers sexual favours to his captor, but Hamish is having none of it. Contains strong language and a parrot wearing a blindfold.

Halloween

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 03:30:00 -0800

Hamish plans to freeze himself and wake up six hundred years in the future. Twat.

Constipation

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 03:01:00 -0800

Proving that you can cram a thin sub-plot even into an 11 minute sitcom, JP asks the cat to go away with him for a dirty weekend. Watch out for the scene with the tights. Contains strong language.

Consider Yourself

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:56:00 -0800

While Trevor plays detective, Hamish discovers the delights of having sex with a Victorian washstand. Contains strong language and a cat with a shit cockney accent.

Robot Wars

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 02:38:00 -0800

Sci-fi madness in the Pets house. Look out for the parrot's spectacular silver space hat. Eat your heart out Stephen Speilberg.

Money Money Money

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 09:02:00 -0800

One of the most popular ever episodes. There's murder afoot in the Pets house. Contains strong language and piss-poor special effects.

Drugs

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:10:00 -0800

The parrot becomes convinced that he was once married to Janis Joplin, and Hamish starts to see giant penguins carrying machine guns. Contains strong language and excessive canine masturbation.

American Beauty

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 06:56:00 -0800

Where else can you meet a bald parrot who lost all his feathers in a card game, and a Persian cat who's addicted to over-the-counter drugs. Check out the vodcast that's sweeping the planet. The drugs don't work, you know. They just make you fucking cranky!!!

Satan

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 06:27:00 -0800

JP the parrot claims to have seen Satan buying a copy of the Daily Telegraph in WH Smiths. Or he might have been wrong. It could have been a different newspaper. Download the adult puppet show that's sweeping the world. By the way, did we tell you that we like to drink our own urine?

Pregnant

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 05:58:00 -0800

First vodcast of the bizarre adult puppet series that is taking the world by storm. Meet Trevor, Hamish, JP and Davina - four pet animals trapped in a grubby house and trying to keep themselves entertained. Contains strong language.

The Christmas Episode

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:59:00 -0800

In this special Christmas episode, Hamish manages to burn both himself and the Xmas turkey. Contains strong language and a very large Yule log. Featured voices: Ian Angus Wilkie (Hamish), Andrew Barclay (Trevor), Sally Elsden (Davina), Petros Emanuel (JP). Sound: Andy Hewitt. Cameras: Alan Benns. Pets was directed by Mike Stephens, and written & produced by Andrew Barclay & Brian West.

The Trials of Hamish

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 09:43:00 -0800

Hey, if the damned Simpsons can do it, so can Pets. In this total rip-off episode, Trevor puts together a video claiming that he has nothing to do with all the terrible things that have tended to happen to Hamish throughout the series. Don't miss the long-awaited Christmas episode, syndicating from 4th December 2007.

The Making of Pets

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 09:29:00 -0800

This show contains previously unreleased footage shot during production and post-production at Elstree Millennium Studios. So, you finally get to see who was responsible for making this complete pile of dog spangle. Look out for the special Christmas episode of Pets in December!

Possessed

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 08:44:00 -0700

Pets unwittingly conjure the long-dead spirit of Judy Garland, and to his horror Hamish ends up sharing the kitchen with a bad-tempered poltergeist. Contains strong language and live rodents.